Wish Upon A Star
by Lady Amakakeru
Summary: In the game-show Wish Upon A Star the main characters of a selected anime tell their romantic wish and the trustworthy cough cough show hostess who does the least she can to help make it come true, this fanfic, Rurouni Kenshin
1. Start With Sano

Wish Upon a Star Chapter 1: The Insecure Fighter for Hire  
  
A/N: I couldn't care less about how you feel in your hearts, I do care about how you feel in your reviews, if you want me to write more you'd better review, I do read your reviews.  
  
Narrator: Welcome to the Kamiya Dojo, a cozy little dojo in Tokyo, Japan where, for the next four days, Wish Upon A Star, the game-show where wishes come true, will be filmed live for your entertainment, Wish Upon A Star is uncut, uncensored, and unedited. Now here's our host MISS Lisa Moore.  
  
Host: * smiles innocently at camera, before giving the once-live audience the bird* I'm Lisa Moore, your hostess, in Wish Upon A Star what we do is interview the main characters of a random anime, with eligible guys, and ask each character what their totally dumb, usually pointless, romantic wish is, bet on the likeliness of it coming true after asking embarrassing questions of friends and family, and then try to grant their wish. Today, from the cast of Rurouni Kenshin, the grade-school dropout we all love will be asked to Wish Upon A Star! Please welcome, SANOSUKE SAGARA!  
  
Fan-girls in crowd: * go insane* Oh Sano, wish for me! No, wish for me!  
  
Lisa: SHUT-UP YOU BRAINLESS LOSERS!!! * Uses favorite driving signal (the finger)*  
  
Sano: Where'd the front door go, when was it replaced with this studio. DID THE ALIENS DO THIS I TOLD KENSHIN THEY WERE COMING!? * Attempts to run into dojo, stopped by a sedative from hostess*  
  
Lisa: Calm down, you're with friends we just want yo-  
  
Sano: YOU WANT TO STEAL MY BRAIN I KNOW YOUR EVIL PLAN-  
  
Lisa: SHUT-UP, we don't want your brain, who would, now make a wish of the romantic sort, like wish that Megumi would kiss you or something, before you face THE WRATH OF LISA!  
  
Sano: Fine! I wish Megumi would kiss me, are you happy now?  
  
Lisa: *sarcasticly* Now that is what I call "THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX"!  
  
Sano: Thanks. It took me a while to think of that.  
  
Lisa:\_/.  
  
Audience: .  
  
Lisa: Ooookayyyy, I call to the stand, I mean stage, Hajime Saito, to testify against, I mean tell us about, Sano's stupid history.  
  
Saito: * walks on stage frowning* what do you want?  
  
Lisa: Welcome to Wish Upon A Star, we're asking you to tell us about Sano's stupid history from your view.  
  
Saito: ^_^ Okay.  
  
Lisa: What is the stupidest thing Sanosuke Sagara has done since you met him?  
  
Saito: Hmmmmm. where should I start, could you narrow it down to today?  
  
Lisa: ^_^ Okay.  
  
Saito: * takes deep breath* He walked into a wall, he tried to skip his bill, again, he walked into another wall, he walked into a building's wall, he walked into Kenshin causing him to drop a sack of rice, tofu, and some other foods, he walked into a wall yet again, he argued with Megumi, he walked into a tree, he argued with Kouru, he walked into a rock, he choked on a fragment of the fish skeleton he always chews on, he walked into a wall once more, and the day is not through yet, I'm sure he'll do another stupid thing soon.  
  
Lisa: Thank you Saito, you're a light in a dark world, although I could have guessed the last part of your speech.  
  
Saito: I've got to go, that thief I was arresting probably didn't stand by the tree where I told him to wait for me to arrest him when I was called onto your show. Goodbye ^_^.  
  
Sano: * walks into wall near the door Saito leaves by while trying to strangle the cop, then walks into camera causing screens across the world to go blank with only the sound of screams and arguing*  
  
Lisa's Voice: PLEASE EXCUSE THE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, NOW FOR A COMMERCIAL BREAK!  
  
A/N: Thank you for reading, please truthfully review and give me ideas for the next chapter, if you want a next chapter. 


	2. Sano's Interview Continued

Chapter. 2: The Insecure Fighter For Higher cont.  
  
Disclaimer: Amazingly, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.  
  
A/N: Please review, once the number of your well thought reviews pleaing for another chapter satisfy me, Kenshin will be interviewed! ^-^  
  
Sano sits on couch bound and gagged: Fwok yuu, Weeza Mo.  
  
Lisa Moore: Welcome back, faithful viewers and indentured servants, to Wish Upon A Star, we're back, after that unexpected commercial break, with the second and third half of our show, we will shortly be hearing from Yahiko Myojin (tell me if I spelt it wrong) on his opinion on Sano, have a short interview, and see if his wish is possible. For now let's welcome MEGUMI TAKANI!  
  
Guys In Audience: * go crazy with a number of scurrilous remarks* Wohoo, Oh Yeah, Megumi, will you marry me?!  
  
Girls In Audience: * call Megumi the biggest slut on the show* Booooo Hissssss!  
  
Lisa: Hello Megumi * smiles and grits teeth* welcome to Wish Upon A Star, you've been called here not because you're talented or important or a favorite, but because Sanosuke Sagara's wish is that you kiss him-  
  
Guys I.A.: Will you kiss me Fox?  
  
Girls to Guys: Your chances are high with a woman like her.  
  
Lisa: SHUT-UP YOU IDIOTS! Now, Megumi, what do you have to say to this?  
  
Megumi: Ohohoho, I hope he hasn't gotten his hopes up, I came here for Sir Ken * fox ears appear*  
  
Lisa: Okay, now let's shun the fox and welcome the samurai kid, YAHIKO MIOJIN!  
  
Yahiko walks in waving to audience.  
  
Fangirls faint, Girls In Audience faint, Guys In Audience mutter angrily to selves.  
  
Lisa: So Yahiko @.@, we're asking for your wonderful, wise, opinion on Sanosuke Sagara's personality and habits, would you care to enlighten us?  
  
Yahiko: Welllllll, I'd say he's a lazy good-for-nothin' slob, society's refuse temporarily imposing upon the Kamiya Dojo, he's a major bum if you ask me.  
  
Lisa: Would you tell us about his habits Yahiko Chan? *o* ^-^  
  
Yahiko: Okay, well usually he just sits around the dojo like this * snores and mimics throwing dice* he always has that stupid fish skeleton in his mouth, maybe he thinks, excuse me he doesn't think, that it makes him look smarter-  
  
Everyone but Sano: Hahahahahahahaha hohohohohoho Ohohoho Ahahaha!  
  
Lisa: * wipes tear from eye* have you ever considered a career as a stand up comedian?  
  
Yahiko: Yeah, but I'm to young to work in America so I figured I could make a couple trillion dollars acting on this show until I'm sixteen.  
  
Lisa: Whoops, look at the time let's get to that interview with Sanosuke Sagara, but first, a message from our sponsors:  
  
Messages go by so fast as to be unnoticeable.  
  
Lisa: Okay, Fangirl#2, please free Mr. Sagara.  
  
Fangirl#2: * willingly obliges while making kissey eyes at Sano.  
  
Lisa: Okay Sano, first question, do you love Megumi?  
  
Sano: No.  
  
Lisa: Why not?  
  
Sano: I dunno.  
  
Lisa: I could have guessed. Okay, second question, is-  
  
Sano: Why are you asking me this crap?  
  
Lisa: Because I'm interviewing you. Okay, second question, is your hair naturally spikiy?  
  
Sano: Duh no, haven't you seen Sanurai X Reflection, you know with the scene where I'm a bum living in the woods?  
  
Lisa: Yeah, so?  
  
Sano: Was my hair spiky then, when I didn't have hair gel?  
  
Lisa: No.  
  
Sano: Well, I've proven my point, continue interviewing.  
  
Lisa: Question three, do you have a security item, a lovey?  
  
Sano: Duh, the fish skeleton, I'm starting to think you don't watch Rurouni Kenshin at all YOU'RE A POSER, I 'LL BET YOU'RE NOT EVEN A LISCENSED SHOW HOST!  
  
Lisa: Okay, that'll be all, now please attempt to kiss the slu-, I mean Megumi.  
  
Sano: All right * tries to kiss Megumi*  
  
Megumi: * slaps Sano* You PIG, you're just like a stupid rooster, if your head was cut off your body could still function normally!  
  
Sano: Well at least I'm not an evil fox, always tricking people!  
  
Megumi: Stupid!  
  
Sano: Evil!  
  
Lisa ( over arguments): Well that's all for this time, see you next time when the crazy red head samurai we all love (and I mean all of us) takes his turn making a wish. Seeya.  
  
Lisa(to self): Ahh the sound of arguing people. ^-^  
  
A/N: Renenber to review! ^-^ 


	3. Kenshin And the Fan Girls

Wish Upon A Star  
  
Chapter 3: Kenshin and the Fan girls  
  
A/N: Please review, write something good or use CONSTRUCTIVE critisism*I define constructive critisism as spelling corrections and ideas to make my fic better*  
~Lady Amakakeru Disclaimer: I'd think it's pretty obvious that I don't own anything but a computer but to make it perfectly clear for any moron thinking otherwise I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.  
  
Narrator: Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Insane Asylum Convicts, Prisoners of War-  
  
Audience: WE GET THE PICTURE!  
  
Narrator: Jeez, I was just trying to be inclusive of others like my psychiatrist told me to. Okay everybody; welcome to Wish Upon A Star, here's our hostess, LISA MOORE!  
  
Audience: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
  
Lisa: E-HEM * waves folder labeled "confidential"*  
  
Audience goes insane.  
  
Lisa: Much better. Now today let's welcome that do-goody redhead all fan girls want and all guys envy, HIMURA KENSHIN!  
  
Girls faint.  
  
Guys clap, reluctantly admitting that Kenshin is pretty cool.  
  
Fan girls attempt to get on stage, but fight among themselves instead.  
  
Lisa: Hello Mr. Himura, and may I say I'm sure everyone in this studio wishes to welcome you to Wish Upon A Star.  
  
Kenshin: * looks at chaotic disorder called a studio (made solely out of stuff in my basement)* This doesn't look much like any of the hundreds of fanfic studios that I've ever been to, Sano was right ALIENS ARE ATTACKING TOKYO, AGAIN!  
  
Lisa: Did Kouru give you food poisoning again, that would explain you listening to Sano?  
  
Kenshin: No, I guess you're right; I should stop listening to crazy bums.  
  
Lisa: Exactly, now what we're asking of you, Mr. Himura-  
  
Kenshin: Would you mind calling me Kenshin.  
  
Lisa: Why, are you suggesting that we become more than friends?  
  
Kenshin: Yuck! Hell no, it's just that Soujiro used to call me that and it brings back memories of my battle with Shishio and the evil possessing this world. I use my sword to protect others, killing is wrong blah blah blah. Now there's my moral speech of the day.  
  
Lisa: What?  
  
Kenshin: I have to set a good example or Rurouni Kenshin will be too graphic and immoral for children.  
  
Lisa: Oh. Now back to my request, please make a wish, a slightly romantic wish, involving another character of the show.  
  
Kenshin: Okay, I wish Kaoru would forget about me, she's too young and should date someone her age for a change rather than a twenty eight year old, I mean honestly, you think the writers would let me date someone my age, they're corrupting the youth of the countries the show airs in.  
  
Lisa: That's a pretty harsh wish; I can't wait to try to make it come true!  
  
Kenshin: I know it's mean to break Kaoru's heart like this, but she needs to go out with someone her age, she'd be better off with Sano!  
  
Lisa: Isn't that a bit of an exaggeration?  
  
Kenshin: I guess so, but in any case you get the picture.  
  
Lisa: Sorry to cut you short Kenshin, but if you could please take a seat so we can have a chance to ask some other characters a few questions?  
  
Kenshin: Anytime *sits down*  
  
Lisa: Okay we'll now be asking * unfolds script* SANOSUKE?! About Kaoru and Kenshin's relationship, hold on, who chose to put this idiot on again.  
  
Lady Amakakeru: You got a problem with it? Cause if you do I'm sure Bob the Narrator would gladly be promoted to Host.  
  
Lisa: Of course not * smiles politely while plotting her revenge (hint: her revenge involves chainsaws)* Okay let's welcome back SANOSUKE SAGARA!  
  
Audience claps reluctantly.  
  
Sano's Fan girls go wild.  
  
Kenshin's Fan girls think of how Kenshin would look shirtless.  
  
Sano: What do you want NOW?  
  
Lisa: Please tell us about Kenshin and Kaoru's relationship, Mr. Sagara.  
  
Sano: Someone called me "Mr.", now I can die. Okay, Kenshin and Kaoru's relationship, hmmm, that's a hard one. Well I don't think they really have any relationship to speak of. Kenshin, no offense dude, but you're sort of a little man, I mean jeez, you cook, you clean, you do laundry, you aren't even seduced by Megumi!  
  
Kenshin Fangirls With Chainsaws: Die Sanosuke. * Chase Sano around chainsaws*  
  
Sano Fan girls With Chainsaws: Die Kenshin Fan girls * chase Kenshin Fan girls around with chainsaws*  
  
Lisa: Now where could they have gotten chainsaws?  
  
Kenshin: do you think we should help them?  
  
Lisa: Hell no! Let's just cut to a commercial break, all our problems go away when there's a commercial break, don't you read fan fiction?  
  
A/N: It's not the best but please review using CONSTRUCTIVE critisism only (or complements).  
  
~Lady Amakakeru ^_~ 


	4. Kenshin and the Fangirls Part Two

Wish Upon A Star: Chapter 4 Kenshin's Interview, second half.  
  
A/N Please R/R  
  
Lisa: Welcome back, this commercial break I managed to get the fangirls under control, with sedatives.  
  
Fangirls: Zzzzz  
  
Lisa: I also managed to hire a cute perky annoying co-host to do my job for free and I called Geiko, a fifteen minute call could save you-  
  
Audience: Who gives a rat's ass!  
  
Fangirls: Zzzzz  
  
Lisa: For being part of the audience of this stupid show you will receive a free-  
  
Audience: Oooooooo  
  
Lisa: -SWEAR BEAR! ^_~ With posable middle fingers!  
  
Audience: YAY! ^-^  
  
Lisa: Okay, back to the interview, we're now going to have Soujiro Seta comment on Kenshin's opinion. Let's welcome SOUJIRO!  
  
Soujiro-Fangirls: EEEEEEEEE!* suddebly awake due to Soujuiro senses*  
  
Other Fangirls show mild interest.  
  
Audience Girls go insane while guys wonder what girls see in traumatized young samurai who looks like a girl and conclude that it's one of the many things they'll never understand in life.  
  
Lisa *o* : So Soujiro, what do you think of Kenshin wanting Kaoru to get over him?  
  
Soujiro (smiling adorably, I drool): Well Kenshin's usually right I guess, I mean he's the one who told me to ditch Shishio's gang which was good advice, so I'll agree with him. Kaoru is really too you to like a guy 11 years older than her, haven't you seen reflection, she dies thanks to him (at least you infer that by the ending).  
  
Lisa: Thank you Soujiro, for sharing your opinion , now let's get back to Kenshin- hey why are you leaving?  
  
Soujiro: You aren't interviewing me anymore.  
  
Lisa: So, I need someone for your Fangirls to admire so that they don't get bored. Hey, how 'bout we have, Kelly, my co-host interview Kenshin *gives Soujiro, who has left, kissy eyes* While hunt down Soujiro.  
  
Kelly: Okay, so Kenshin do you love Kaoru?  
  
Kenshin: Yes.  
  
Kelly: Then why are you dumping her, do you want to date me instead or somthin'"  
  
Kenshin: No, I just want Kaoru to be happy with someone her age so that RK is appropriate for children.  
  
Kelly: Why do you have long hair and wear a pink kimono, it's totally hot, but some morons call you gay.  
  
Kenshin: What perverts, I'm not gay to set the record straight, my gi was red but after wandering the color faded a lot. And the director told me that long hair turns chicks on.  
  
Kelly: Okay, now let's welcome KAMIYA KAORU.  
  
Kaoru: WHO DIED? IS KENSHIN OKAY?  
  
Kelly: Nobody died Kenshin's fine but he wants you to forget about him and move on.  
  
Kaoru: WHAT?!  
  
Kenshin: You should date someone your age, besides I'm betrothed to Courtney Mitterling in CT, she bought me on Ebay.  
  
Lisa dragging Soujiro in chains: I'm back from Soujiro Hunting, and after sitting through this crappy fic you deserve a reward, so get one yourself.  
  
A/N: Please review 


	5. Megumi part one

Wish Upon A Star Chapter Five: The Crafty Fox Woman  
  
A/N: Sorry for the wait anyone who gives a damn.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin; if I did this wouldn't be fan fiction.  
  
NARRATOR: Today is a wonderful day for all. Due to this chapter being put off so long the gracious Lady A. has given me a name. I am no longer "NARRATOR" now you shall refer to me as-  
  
Lisa: * pokes head onstage* Shuddup George, the audience doesn't care, just announce the show. *Slips backstage*  
  
George: All people in the audience, welcome to Wish Upon A Star. Here's our host, the one, the only, the incredibly bitchy, LISA MOORE!  
  
Audience is electrocuted and therefore applauds enthusiastically.  
  
Lisa: Thanks for being here, my gang of stupid underlings. Today I didn't want to deal with obnoxious fangirls so lets welcome MEGUMI TAKANI!  
  
Male Audience Members Applaud without encouragement but Female Audience Members are shocked three times to incur applause.  
  
Lisa: On behalf of the audience and myself I'd like to say what a pleasure it is to have you on our show, welcome to the most chaotic show on this station.  
  
Megumi: *tosses hair* Thanks for having me. *Sits down on couch*  
  
Lisa: As you should know by now, being that you're the smartest character on this show, you get to make a romantic wish involving another cast member. What's your wish?  
  
Megumi: It's obvious I'd think. I wish me and Kenshin could get some alone time.  
  
Lisa: OK now we interview random cast members, let's start with... Aoshi, YAY!  
  
Aoshi enters stage hand in hand with Lady A.  
  
Lisa (jealous): Why are you with my sweet Aoshi?  
  
Lady A: Aoshi begged me to come along knowing all the unfortunate accidents that tend to occur so I came.  
  
Aoshi: Help me, she is Satan, or she would be if I believed in Satan.  
  
Lisa: Right now that is quite obvious, but getting down to business is there anything going on between Megumi and Kenshin.  
  
Aoshi: Nothing, that was simple, not to mention a waste of time.  
  
Lisa: Great answer, to good in fact, I must now kill you. *Aims gun at cute anime dude*  
  
Fangirl in Slow Motion: *Jumps between Lisa and Aoshi* Noooooooo!  
  
Lisa: *shoots gun and kills fangirl* YAY! I love killing predictable fangirls!  
  
Fangirl: Oh Aoshi, why must I die before we even speak? At least we die together.  
  
Aoshi: Oookay, I must point out that only you are dying and that we are speaking making that line completely false but now you can be bathed in the glory of my hot manliness.  
  
Lady A.: What a moronic girl I'm not dead but I get to bask in his hotness anyway, how kind of my sweet little Aoshi.  
  
Aoshi: Eww, yuck. Don't call me that. I'll never be yours  
  
Lady A.: If you don't shut up I'll erase you from my fanfic.  
  
Abrupt commercial break courtesy of George.  
  
A/N: Please R&R, or should I say: R&R if you value your life. 


End file.
